I wish...

I wish... I could tell you how much of a hero to me but you would never understand. 
I wish... you could see what an amazing person you are.
I wish... you could get past that block that has kept you back for so many years. 
I wish... I could go back in time to let you reach the potential that you never did.
I wish... that I could let you fix all those regrets that you hold.
I wish... I could make things better, I could let you get the freedom that you deserve.
I wish... had that bit more self confidence to see that you really can do this. You can get through this.
I wish... that none of this had ever happened. That you the life that you deserved. Not this shit.
I wish... that one day you will get through all of this and come out even more amazing than you already are.    
I wish... you knew how proud I am of you.   
I wish... that I could give you such a huge hug right now.


How come some people can get all the attention while others get none? The ones who need and deserve it. There are so many people who will sit in silence and suffer so much but yet are too proud/unconfident/scared to tell people when they need help. They will willingly let someone else take the sympathy and be the public figure while they sit in the background. They're the real victims, no matter what the "crime" may be.

I wrote the above for someone who means the world to me. They may read this but will probably never understand how much I mean it. In fact they may not even know that it's about them. They truly are a hero to me. They are a tower of strength that I could never measure up to.

Everyone knows that one person, whether they realise it or not. That person who will never admit to what is really going on inside their head. To what they are really suffering from. It's a scary thing. I'm probably the complete opposite! I don't know when to shut up. I seek attention and it's not something that I am proud of.

Why do we encourage some people to air all their dirty laundry for the world to see when we let others lock it away. The media is full of sob stories and most of them are full of shit to put it nicely. The media is not a counselling service. The only time it should allow this type of behaviour is when it is being used to encourage the support of others. That is a rare occurance unfortunately. Most of the time it is a tactic used to simply make money for all involved. It is purely media whoring.

We need real support to be made public. Real attention brought to those who need it, to the real issues.

Well this is my support to my person and all the others out there suffering from so much so quietly. I know that I can't be the only person out there who thinks this way so I hope that others will support this as well and let those that need to know, know that they do have the support that they need, whether they want it/realise it or not.

No person should ever have to suffer in silence. No person should ever feel that there is no one there for them. No person should ever feel alone. Ever.


As Always,
XxCrazyXAngelxX

P.S. My apologies for the badly written post. I might edit this again. it is 1am....

30 Day Song challenge

So One of my challenges was to do the 30 Day Song Challenge on facebook so I decided to put it up here too! I'll keep it updated as I do on facebook!

Day 01 - Your Favourite Song
My Chemical Romance - Cancer
Comment all you want but no other song holds so much importance to me and has the ability to make me cry the way this one does!


Day 02 - Your Least Favourite Song
Miley Cyrus - Can't Be Tamed
It was hard to think of just one but this one is particularly awful


Day 03 - A Song That Makes You Happy 
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
Always cheered up listening to this. Can't explain why!


Day 04 - A Song That Makes You Sad
Avenged Sevenfold - Seize the Day
It's so depressing!

Day 05 - A Song That Reminds You of Someone
Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
Everytime I hear this I remember Hannah Burke and her New York ringtone! :P

Day 06 - A Song That Reminds You of Somewhere
Head Automatica - Laughing at You
Anything from the Popaganda album just reminds me of working in Pulse Accessories! Nearly ruining the album for me!

Day 07 - A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event 
Cee Lo Green - Fuck You
This will always be mine and Padraig Sheridan's Advocate song!

Day 08 - A Song That You Know All The Words To
The Lion King - Oh I Just Can't Wait to be King!
Every Word including the dialogue! Best Disney song ever!

Day 09 - A Song That You Can Dance to
Westlife - When You're Looking Like That
Plenty, It's hard to pick just one! I could say the macarena but I think this is better. It's very unlikely not to see me on the dancefloor for this one!

Day 10 - A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Coldplay - Fix You
 Coldplay are just such a boring band!

Day 11 - A Song From Your Favourite Band 
My Chemical Romance - The History
It's so hard to just pick one song so I didn't! I was going to use I'm Not Ok but then I found this. It's not in order but it still has nearly all the videos! :)

Day 12 - A Song From A Band You Hate 
The Jonas Brothers - Year 3000
They keep ruining good songs! This is the worst though! It's disgraceful. Kelly Clarkson really?! And no triple breasted women! How can you change the lyrics from an epic song to something so awful?!

Day 13 - A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure 
Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole
Doubt anyone will remember this from last years Eurovision but it is just epic!

Day 14 - A Song That No One Would Expect You To Love 
Hadouken! - Crank It Up
Hadouken! People have been surprised by this one before. It's not my usual taste - Emo, Rock or cheesy!

Day 15 - A Song That Describes You
Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride
This one was recommended for me and I would have to agree.It is kind of a good description of me! Even for the pure cheese factor! :D

 
Day 16 - A Song That You Used to Love But Now Hate 
McFly - Five Colours in her Hair
I had very bad taste for a while. But I fixed it :P

Day 17 - A Song That You Hear Often on the Radio
Taio Cruz - Dynamite
It's a pretty overplayed song ever since it came out! One of those that you'll hear 2 or 3 times a day sometimes!

Day 18 - A Song That You Wish You Heard on the Radio
Úna O'Boyle - Beautiful Lady
One of my favourite songs ever that definitely needs to be played more. More people need to know the amazingness of Úna O Boyle!

Day 19 - A Song From Your Favourite Album
My Chemical Romance - Cemetery Drive
No surprises with this one! :P

Day 20 - A Song That You Listen to When You’re Angry
Bullet for My Valentine - All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around You)
It's been my angry song for a long time now! Especially for one particular person!

Day 21 - A Song That You Listen to When You’re Happy
30 Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge
Reminds me of seeing them and meeting them at Oxegen '10! Always makes me smile!

Day 22 - A Song That You Listen to When You’re Sad
The All-American Rejects - Can't Take It
I'm not into the sad ballady slow songs tbh. This is a good song though. I suppose it would be a "sad times" song

Day 23 - A Song That You Want to Play at Your Wedding
We Are Scientists - The Great Escape
I'm pretty sure that this is what will be going through the head of whatever unlucky man ends up getting roped into that! God Love him!

Day 24 -  A Song That You Want to Play at Your Funeral
Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me (May Angles Lead You In)
I was going to go for "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" but decided to go all serious instead! Love this song!

Day 25 - A Song That Makes You Laugh
The Midnight Beast - House Party
Anything by The Key of Awesome or these guys! I would so vote for them!

Day 26 - A Song That You Can Play on an Instrument
Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
Well, part of it.... I really need to get back into the guitar!

Day 27 - A Song That You Wish You Could Play
Rise Against - Savior
LOVE this song! Was amazing at Oxegen!

Day 28 - A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty
Justin Bieber vs. Slipknot - Psychosocial Baby
I really should not like this but it works so well! and is hilarious!

Day 29 - A Song From Your Childhood 
Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Backstreet's Back)
Such memories of KTV playing this video all the time! I loved it!

Day 30 - Your Favourite Song at This Time Last Year
Norweigan Recycling - Soul of Fireflies (Owl City vs. Train)
I had this on constant replay last year! Loved it. Still do!
Love Norweigan Recycling and his Mixes!

The List!

I'm going to keep this updates with constant new ideas! I only have a few at the moment

1. Achieve a Platinum Week (And during Rag week and everything! :D)
2. Get an assignment done without doing it the night before
3. Be able to know or acknowledge everyone in Maynooth somehow
4. 30 Day Song Challenge
5. Pass my Theory test
6. Pass all my ECDL modules while keeping up my 97% average
7. Pass 2nd Year without getting less than a 2.1
8. Get a proper regular job
9. Document my 21st year with a photo a day (May 18th 2011 - May 17th 2012)
10. Get an essay done without doing an all-nighter

I need some more exciting ones though! Help please!

Challenge Accepted

I think I enjoy torturing myself too much sometimes...

Between doing work for a lecturer, having to study for ECDL and my theory test, agreeing to help out with the NUIM prospectus and of course trying to do college work, time is not something I have much of these days and I have a social life to uphold too, but yet here I am considering myself as "bored" and deciding that I need some challenges. What am I doing?!

Basically while looking at someones else's blog I found a list they had of 100 things that they wanted to try do by the end of the year. It was a pretty impressive list and they were doing well so far, well enough to inspire me anyway! Now I'm trying to decide what kind of things I could challenge myself with?! I do always love a good challenge, as my friends could tell you! It makes life more interesting. you're not stuck doing the same dull things day to day, and college is the perfect place to try do something like this!

One problem, what am I going to challenge myself with?! I want goals that are achievable yet still crazy enough to be fun! I'm thinking that my first goal for myself should be to try get a Platinum Week next week. What's a Platinum Week you ask? That would be the art of going out every night in college (debates do rise as to whether Sunday or Friday nights count but we'll leave that for now, *cough* Sunday *cough*)  and yet still managing to make all your lectures for the week too. That is definitely going to be something of a challenge considering that I haven't even managed to make a golden week (that would be making all my lectures) this semester! It doesn't help when my latest start in the week is 10am... But I'm prepared to do my best to make it. I would be pretty proud of myself if I can do it alright!

I need more ideas though, I'm kind of stuck. So far the only other one I can think of is to get every assignment I get this semester done before the night before. For me that will not be easy. I don't think i have managed it yet! But that one kind of sucks too. I want some interesting challenges! I could also continue my challenge from last year of being able to somehow know everyone in Maynooth. I did pretty well last year so hopefully I can keep that one up!

So, anyone got any ideas for me?! I need more than three! Please! Make this semester a fun one for me before I end up in final year misery!

Love as always
Síomha aka XxCrazyAngelxX
XoxoxoxoxoX


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Currently listening to: I Just had Sex by The Lonely Island and Akon. That song is made of pure legend!
Currently Wearing: I'm very black today... Black flats (with pretty bows!), black skinnies, a nice grey and black striped draped top and my classic Roxy hoodie! Half my clothes are falling apart these days! I think a shopping trip may be in order!

The everlasting music debate....

So I was at the most amazing gig on Wednesday. For the second time I got to watch the sheer awesomeness of My Chemical Romance in concert! It was just an awe-inspiring show. The band really know how to entertain, Gerard Way especially. He is a pure performer, it's clear that that is what he lives for! And I got to see my future husband Frankie so I was damn happy anyway! :P


But that's not what this is about. This blog is about the difficulties of being an MCR fan! There are very few musical artists who get as much abuse for their work as My Chem do, and as a result their fans get the same. It's incredibly difficult sometimes to tell people that my favourite band is my Chemical Romance but I am not ashamed of it!


I have no problem with people having differing opinions to myself. Not everyone can feel the same and I can handle that (even though I would love to convert them all to the MCRmy!). MCR cause such debate though that I have now made one simple rule when anyone feels the need to judge them:

Unless you have listened to more than just any song on "The Black Parade" your opinion cannot be counted

Yes that probably sounds harsh but let me explain. The whole  massive media judgement on My Chemical Romance only started about 3/4 years ago when "The Black Parade" was released. Not many had even heard of the band or their first two albums but yet felt that they all had the authority to form a judgement on the latest album. The world went mad with that album, everyone just had to form an opinion, mostly just following the crowd in one way or another.


Here's the thing. Even with the massive 6 year long obsession that I have had with Frankie Iero and co. I will freely admit that "The Black Parade" is the worst album of MCR's discography, in fact even the band themselves have admitted that. it's not the true MCR stuff, they lost their punkiness and energy in that album. "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" always has and always will be my favourite album. It's the one that made me fall in love with the band and it's the one I can always turn to no matter what my mood. 


Back on track... People do not give MCR a chance because of all these preconceived notions that they have made from hearing stories of stupid emo kids and MCR making them do stuff and all this shite. But that's not MCR and they never would do that.


In fact those kids annoy me nearly as much as the people who claim to hate MCR but yet have never listened to them! The annoying little teeny boppers who think it's so cool to be scene and emo and have to like MCR as part of the "trend". Most of them don't know the old MCR either, just the Black Parade stuff. They were all over the place at the gig, it annoyed me so much because they didn't even know half the songs played and when Gerard asked how many were seeing the band for the first time way to large a proportion of the audience answered in the affirmative. That is just not right for a ten year old band! These annoying wannabe kids are the bane of my life. Stop looking for attention and actually appreciate the music that you are listening to instead of ruining the experience for everyone else.


So I imagine most of you were not bothered reading the whole way through that so in summary:
Until you can tell me that you have listened to songs off the first two My Chemical Romance albums (aka "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" and "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge") don't bother even trying to argue with me about how "crap" MCR are because quite simply, you do not know what you are talking about. You are just making your judgement on a load of hype! However if you can prove to me that you know the old MCR stuff and still feel the same I will grudgingly accept differences of opinion. Or even if you're not a fan, just respect the guys for the talented artists that they are. 


And people research the band before you start pretending you know about them! Such as the act that they have completely rejected the emo stereotype that they have been thrown into! It's not hard! Just wiki them at least! - My Chemical Romance


I will leave you with one of my favourite songs off each album and please feel free to look up more!


I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me your Love - Vampires Will Never Hurt You

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - Thank You For The Venom

The Black Parade - Cancer
(This song is incredibly important to me so don't even think of making a comment, it's also amazing live)

Danger Day: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Love you always,
Síomha aka XxCrazyAngelxX
XoxoxoxoxoX


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Currently listening to: Why, MCR of course! I'm trying to decide the best songs to advise you to listen to! Three Cheers was especially tough to choose from!
Currently Wearing: My lovely Roxy hoodie, My Dipsy T-Shirt, some black tights, and my ever faithful grey pinafore that I remember blogging about when I first got it! :D

Why bother?

I don't know what's happened to me this year. This whole semester I have just felt like the odd one out. I thought I was over that. But yet again here I am again. the more this happens the more I'm petrified that I'm verging extremely close to depression.

Yet again I got left in the lurch on my own. All my friends said they'd be out? Where were they. As has happened before I got left on my own to find other people which luckily I did. I'm sick of this. I may as well become a hermit, I'm practically there anyway.

I will admit that maybe it's partly me too. I don't know what's wrong with me these days. I'm getting upset about everything! I'm more defensive, argumentative and just generally not as laid back as I used to be. This friends thing is not making life easier though. I just want to feel included. is that really so hard to understand. But when I make the effort and noone else does how am I meant to feel.

Or what about the fact that some people just don't seem to want to talk to me at all or bother with me. There people who are meant to be friends who I haven't heard from in weeks.

I'm fucked up. It's as simple as. I'm going to try write in this more. Let my feelings out a little. Bottom line is right now I need people and it appears that noone wants to be there for me.

I promise I'll be back soon!

I've just realised how long it's been since I have last posted!

I'll be back soon I promise, I've had loads of ideas of what to write about but just never the time to get round to it properly!

I'm sorry and I promise to write a proper entry very soon.

Lots of love,

XxCrazyxAngelxX

XoxoxoxoX