Goody Goody Two Shoes

I don't do drugs. I don't smoke. I don't drink.
Yes, I am that boring.

However, it's not something that I'm ashamed of really. It's just me!
It really shocks other people though. Well not the first two so much as the last one. The not drinking just seems to be something that others don't understand. I suppose I do get why though, it's an Irish culture thing. People drink to have a good time. I have no problem with that, that's their choice, it's just not mine for myself.

I can't really give a proper explanation as to why I don't drink. Well when I say that I don't drink, I do have one or two every so often but I'll never have enough to effect me in any way. I have just never really seen the need for it myself I suppose. When I first made the decision there were reasons for it, past experiences, personal opinion, etc. but now I just don't feel particularly bothered by it. I just don't see a need to start drinking now when I've had such a great time without it so far.

Then again, some people's shock at me not drinking seems to be more linked to my personality. I was talking to one guy who was convinced that I remembered as little as him of all our late night conversations in the middle of the pub. Unfortunately for him I remember them all! Others just see me out and presume I'm drunk! I don't really blame them to be honest, I get way too hyper on nights out sometimes. I can be just as crazy as someone who has been drinking all night, if not worse. I'm happy to dance like an idiot if I want and do mad stuff if I want. In fact, I should probably worry about these thing more sometimes. I'll probably end up getting myself in trouble one day and I'll have no plea of intoxication to use as my defense! Ah sure, I'll live life as I like until then!

The way I see it is simple, you don't need drink to have fun. I genuinely think that if I did drink, the alcohol would have a reverse effect on me and I'd probably end up being more of an introvert and where's the fun in that? If I can be called the "life and soul of the party" now (and what a compliment that was!), why would I try to change that?! Plenty of people have tried to convince me that they'd get me drunk and I'd love it but they haven't managed yet and I doubt they'd be right. I like being able to go out, have a great night and remember it all the next morning whilst feeling great. I love being able to go on a night out and still come home with the same amount that I went out with.

Don't get me wrong though. I have no problem with anyone else drinking. It's just not for me. I know that others enjoy it and they have every right to. In fact, I kind of prefer drinkers to some of the non-drinkers that I know. Some of them just insist on judging people for their drinking habits. How rude is that though? They have no right to decide that if a person is drinking, they must be of a lower caliber of person.Who thinks like that?! And why? I don't see myself as better because I don't drink. The only thing that makes me different from them is my sobriety.

I don't know if that actually explained anything, which was the original purpose of this blog, but at least some of you will see more of my side now. Though in credit to most people, they don't tend to care that much once they've gotten over the initial shock. Despite many claims and attempts, no one has managed to get me drunk yet! There you have it though, I am a goody goody who doesn't drink. What are you going to do about it?!

Love from my crazy weirdo goody goody self!
XxCrazyxAngelxX

XoxoX

I wish...

I wish... I could tell you how much of a hero to me but you would never understand. 
I wish... you could see what an amazing person you are.
I wish... you could get past that block that has kept you back for so many years. 
I wish... I could go back in time to let you reach the potential that you never did.
I wish... that I could let you fix all those regrets that you hold.
I wish... I could make things better, I could let you get the freedom that you deserve.
I wish... had that bit more self confidence to see that you really can do this. You can get through this.
I wish... that none of this had ever happened. That you the life that you deserved. Not this shit.
I wish... that one day you will get through all of this and come out even more amazing than you already are.    
I wish... you knew how proud I am of you.   
I wish... that I could give you such a huge hug right now.


How come some people can get all the attention while others get none? The ones who need and deserve it. There are so many people who will sit in silence and suffer so much but yet are too proud/unconfident/scared to tell people when they need help. They will willingly let someone else take the sympathy and be the public figure while they sit in the background. They're the real victims, no matter what the "crime" may be.

I wrote the above for someone who means the world to me. They may read this but will probably never understand how much I mean it. In fact they may not even know that it's about them. They truly are a hero to me. They are a tower of strength that I could never measure up to.

Everyone knows that one person, whether they realise it or not. That person who will never admit to what is really going on inside their head. To what they are really suffering from. It's a scary thing. I'm probably the complete opposite! I don't know when to shut up. I seek attention and it's not something that I am proud of.

Why do we encourage some people to air all their dirty laundry for the world to see when we let others lock it away. The media is full of sob stories and most of them are full of shit to put it nicely. The media is not a counselling service. The only time it should allow this type of behaviour is when it is being used to encourage the support of others. That is a rare occurance unfortunately. Most of the time it is a tactic used to simply make money for all involved. It is purely media whoring.

We need real support to be made public. Real attention brought to those who need it, to the real issues.

Well this is my support to my person and all the others out there suffering from so much so quietly. I know that I can't be the only person out there who thinks this way so I hope that others will support this as well and let those that need to know, know that they do have the support that they need, whether they want it/realise it or not.

No person should ever have to suffer in silence. No person should ever feel that there is no one there for them. No person should ever feel alone. Ever.


As Always,
XxCrazyXAngelxX

P.S. My apologies for the badly written post. I might edit this again. it is 1am....